They Gave Me This Heart
by Yami-chan and Unrealistic
Summary: A not so short oneshot concerning Rath after his rebirth...Lykouleon tries to offer comfort to the Knight but is rudely turned away.... no pairings, oneshot


8-28-5

Here's an on the whim ficcie concerning Rath. It actually came as a dream and was so vivid when I woke that I had to write it. So please, enjoy the angst…

Disclaimer: I own nothing of Mineko Ohkami's wonderful characters.

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/…blood from Lord Lykouleon…a pound of flesh from Ruwalk and Bierrez…the power of flame from the Dragon Knight of Fire…the power of ice from Illuser…and the strength of the Red Dragon Crystal…/

Raven eyebrows knit in discontent as the long cast incantation continued.

__

/Fill this body with life. Revive, Rath Illuser…This will be my final gift to you…/

NO! Don't do it! It's…I'm not worth it!

/Awaken…Let warmth once again return to your body…and be reborn…as a true member of the Dragon Tribe./

The hand fell limply to the ground, lifeforce spent.

No! Kaistern! "Kaistern!"

A raven haired youth shot up in bed, gasping for breath. The dream, no, memory of the few days past echoed in his thoughts with haunting clarity. _Why did you do it! _Crimson eyes shut in hate as Rath's slim hand covered his face and he pulled his knees to his chest. _You never told me what you were looking for…you broke your promise._ He clenched his teeth in anger.

Why do I feel so guilty? It's because of them. They gave me this heart.

I never wanted it.

I'm just their little puppet. The blood of a Guardian dragon and a Dragon Lord…

These ties make me their prisoner.

To teach a Yokai like me to love also teaches him…

…immeasurable pain…

Rath pulled his legs closer, willing his mind to shut down once more, lest his own thoughts throw him once again into darkness.

__

Every time someone gets hurt…I blame myself.

My very existence has caused nothing but grief.

In detailed clarity, the Knight recalled his brief conversation with Cesia, just a few short days ago, minutes before she was kidnapped.

__

Rath's eyes suddenly hardened with fear and a dreadful realization. "Nadil drained my lifeforce and took my body but I am here now. Life cannot be restored without the death of another. Who has died in my place, Cesia?"

The fortuneteller just continued staring sadly at the boy she had come to consider her companion. This just infuriated Rath all the more.

"Who has given up their life for me! Answer me, Cesia! **Who did I kill this time!**"

No reply.

"**ANSWER ME!**"

Suddenly, the Yokai reached forward and gently lay a hand on the youth's cheek, not letting him break eyes contact. Golden eyes flitted with sorrow as she said one name;

"Kaistern. Kaistern gave his life to you. He loved you. I used the power of the Wind Staff and Kaistern's lifeforce to bring you back."

Rath's eyes widened in disbelief as Cesia went on to explain how the Blue Dragon Officer had already been cursed with the Revival Water. His physical body had already been decaying. Anger surged through every bit of the Dragon's body. Slim hands clenched the blankets in anger. You traitor…you goddamned traitor… _In a fury, he tore his pillow apart, sending pure white feathers across the room._

"Dammit Kaistern! You broke your promise! You promised to tell me what you were searching for!" And now you're dead, damn you. _"You never told me what it was. You were never good at keeping your word! You liar! Just once…I…I thought…" _He died for me. _Rath continued on, not caring if he was ranting. "Fine! You want to die? Go ahead! I don't care!" He swallowed as his voice began to crack. "I-I…he's…"_

"Rath…"

"What!" Only then did the raven-haired youth notice the beads of moisture rolling softly down his cheeks. It was an unfamiliar feeling. Tears! _Bitter sorrow overtook him and he let his head fall in his hands, the scattered white feathers filling his vision. _Why? _"…Why am I crying? Demons don't feel pain. Monsters aren't supposed to cry!"_

Rath's grip tightened on his legs as he tried to lose himself in the blankets. _Monsters aren't supposed to cry. _He squeezed his eyes shut, white forelock falling across his face. _It's all your fault, Kaistern. If you hadn't been such an idiot! _Slowly uncurling, Rath looked out the window. His hand drifted to the blood colored Light Dragon amulet around his neck. _I'm their prisoner, nothing more. A tool to the Dragon Tribe. _The night view was dark, any trace of the stars wiped out by a thick cover of clouds. It was if the land sensed Nadil's oncoming. The barrage would start at any time now. _The Dragons will be wiped out,_ Rath thought bitterly.

Quietly, the youth crawled out from beneath the blankets. His bare feet gently touched the cold floor. Shaking slightly in the cold draft, Rath pulled the topmost cover off his bed and wrapped it around himself as he noiselessly opened the double doors to his room. Peeking his head out, the hallways were empty and dim. With that, he padded down the hall, not quite knowing his destination. One might say the once happy go-lucky Fire Knight looked like a small child wrapped in his oversize blanket and wandering down the halls in his pajamas. In a way, he felt somewhat like a child; lost and not quite understanding what he was feeling.

He met no resistance as he continued down the corridors though every once in a while he heard the scattered talk of the Dragon Fighters as they prepared for the Demon Lord's onslaught. On automatic, Rath came to a stop in front of a set of double wooden doors similar to the ones to his own room. As quiet as ever, the Knight opened them and stepped into the dark and empty room. He closed the doors and then paused. Closing his eyes, Rath let his head rest against the cool engravings of the wood. _Why did I come here? I swear…I don't even know myself anymore. _A small smile quirked his lips for a moment then just as quickly disappeared. Turning away from the entryway, Rath pulled the feather blanket closer and walked further into the large room.

He touched none of the items laying scattered about. It didn't seem right. It was if the person would return any moment to claim them. Rath's eyes lingered on a dusty set of traveling clothes haphazardly thrown over a chair along with a battered folder on the polished desk, documents nearly falling out in an unorganized mess. The Dragon looked away as he approached the bed. Without hesitation he crawled up into the middle of the cushions and pulled the blanket over his head, leaving him in a tent of darkness.

Once again, he pulled his legs back to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. _Damn it, Kaistern…why did you leave? I wasn't worth it. You wouldn't have even known about the incantation if we hadn't made that stupid promise! You never told me anything in return anyway… _Crimson eyes slid shut as the ever present exhaustion from his rebirth seeped into his very bones. _I was just a puppet. That's why they struggle to keep me alive…if I die, there is no heir to Dusis. The Dragon Tribe would end…_Sleep covered the youth as did the blanket and he was tossed into the land of nightmares once more.

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"Kaistern?"

He almost laughed as he said the name. No, his Officer and friend was gone. Golden hair shone brilliantly even in the dim light of the Dragon Castle's corridors. Lykouleon mentally cringed as he imagined the berating he would catch if he were caught wandering around. However, reality dampened the thought. Alfeegi was gone…along with Kaistern. There would be no White Dragon Officer screaming at the top of his lungs at anyone who crossed his path. There would be no more Secretary of Foreign Affairs skittering away from Alfeegi as the Chief Secretary demanded the outrageous travel expenses. Emerald eyes dulled slightly as the Dragon Lord continued on his way. This all was just too much of a price to pay…all of it. Why must there be war?

Political mask falling, Lykouleon sighed. What would come of Rath Illuser now? Sure, Rath held contempt for all of the Dragon Tribe. He always had. But now that burden was increased even more. The guilt as being the catalyst for Nadil's reemergence to power had to be overwhelming. And to top it off, the Fire Knight was responsible for the death of both Alfeegi and Kaistern. The ruler shook his head. He would never blame the death of his friends and allies on the youth known as Rath.

Coming to a stop, Lykouleon looked uncertainly at the set of door before him. He would be the last person Rath would want to see right now. _He can't be alone right now._ Thatz and Rune were still resting after the battle and were unable to comfort their fellow Knight and friend. The blonde tapped gently on the door. "Rath, are you still awake?" He received no answer. Feeling a slight flutter of worry, Lykouleon opened the doors.

Rath's room was empty.

The flutter turned into a full flight as the patriarch took in the empty and tussled bed. _Rath… _Lykouleon turned and dashed down the hall, cloak fluttering behind. _If this is how Alfeegi felt whenever I left, I see why he always worried, _he thought somberly. Suddenly his chest tightened in pain and Lykouleon stumbled. He fell to his knees, hands clenched at his chest. _Not now…_The Dragon Lord coughed violently as blood spattered his white gloves. _It's getting worse. Damn you, Nadil._ He struggled to his feet, forcing the fit down. _I have to find Rath. _A sudden flash of intuition overcame the Light Knight. _Of course. _A smile crossed his handsome features. Acting solely on feelings, Lykouleon dashed for the former Blue Dragon Officer's room.

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Lykouleon slowly opened the doors. He smiled again as he saw the motionless lump on the bed. _I knew it. _The Dragon patriarch walked to the bed, a golden spot in the darkness. Quietly he sat on the bed near the still form. "Rath…"

Under the blanket, Rath's eyes twitched as he heard his name. "What…?" He blinked as a sudden cold chill came as the blanket was gently pulled away. "Lykouleon…"

The Dragon Lord smiled as he resettled the blanket around the teenager's shoulders. "I thought I would find you here." Rath gave no reply as he pointedly looked away from the blonde. Taking the silence into stride, Lykouleon looked out the window from his perch. "It's not good for you to be alone right now. Rune and Thatz should be free from the medical ward by tomorrow morning."

"I don't want them near me."

The Dragon Lord blinked at the harsh reply. But if anyone knew how to handle the problematic teen besides Kaistern, it was this golden man. "They miss you. They've been asking about you for three days now. Both care deeply about you."

"It's one-sided, then."

"You know that's not true."

"IT IS!" Rath exploded, abandoning his curled position. "I'm just a tool to the you and the Dragon Tribe! Especially to you!" Lykouleon said nothing as the raven-haired youth threw the wild accusations. "Why did you save me in the first place, huh! Because you needed an heir! Nothing else!"

"Yes. I needed an heir. But that is not the sole reason. Why else does everyone love you so much?"

"I'm the key to the Dragon Tribe! That's why!"

Lykouleon closed his emerald eyes. "Is that what you truly think of us? Nothing but manipulators?"

Rath smirked. "Isn't is obvious?"

"We truly care for you, Rath. If you would just let your blinding curtain of hate fall away. Just once. I pray you could see that."

"Stop lying to me!" In a violent fury, Rath actually raised his hand to strike the Dragon Lord. However, even in a weakened state, Lykouleon easily grabbed the youth by the wrists. Rath glared in frustration, rage blinding all sense.

Lykouleon's eyes filled with sorrow as he continued restraining the Knight. "Do you really hate us all that much?"

"YES! **I hate all of you! **I'll kill you all and be free! I will kill you one day!"

"You don't know how much it pains me to hear you say that."

Rath's smirk fell into place again. "If only it was enough to show you how **I** feel."

Suddenly his face fell into confusion, as the Dragon Lord shifted his grip and pulled his into an embrace. "What are you--!"

"I do think of you as a son, Rath. And I know how Kaistern's death affected you. You're lashing out blindly. Release all the pain. But do know, you have many here that care for you."

"Liar," Rath hissed into the patriarch's shoulder.

"Think as you will. But I hope one day, you'll see." Gently patting Rath on the head, Lykouleon released the Knight, who quickly scrambled away. He glared in distrust as the blonde stood and headed for the door. Rath straightened as Lykouleon looked back, a sincere smile on his face. "Thatz and Rune will be at breakfast tomorrow. I hope you'll be there to join them." And with that, the ruler exited the room.

Rath was left alone in his bitterness. He was shaking in barely restrained fury. "YOU GAVE ME THIS HEART!" he yelled at the door, not caring who heard. "WHY! To teach me this immeasurable pain…" His head fell to his chest, tears dotting the corners of his eyes. "I never wanted it…none of it."

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Outside the door, Lykouleon bowed his head. He leaned back against the cool door. _Rath…I pray with all my being…that one day, you'll see what really awaits you among the Dragon Tribe…_

His eyes were distracted as the sun peeked over the mountains. Golden eyebrows knitted in frustration. _But for now, we must prepare for the worst. _ The Dragon Lord pushed away from the cool panels, royal mask in place. It was time to prepare for war.

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---_end_


End file.
